2:08 PM

Yesterday the orthopedic surgeon informed me the ligaments in my right hand were completely severed. Gone. Torn asunder. Let me just show you the x-rays, he says. They are pretty gruesome. MY reply to him: can i have a copy? He points to a small white mass that my newly traumatized brain simply assumed was one of my toes, but no. All I understood after ulnar ligament reconstruction surgery was, Oh yeah, you also broke your big toe. SItting here, writing this down, I realize he was talking about my hands. Right one broke and thumb unattached but for veins that give it blood. The other, hanging by a thread. Buy one of these casts that keep your thumb perpetually extended and thereby unusable. Make sure to try and always wear it on your left thumb. It’s almost done. Hanging by thread at best. What about the right, i say, which was why i made this referral. The right is totally torn, he reminds me, it can’t be saved. i spring up and say, thank you for your direct and brutal honesty doctor. Orthos always moving from one patient to the next. I guess that makes sense when you think about how many people hurt themselves daily. Regardless, I walk outside and immediately smoke a joint while leaning onto the neighboring building. I was in shock. An MRI needed on my hand for surgery. The other hand quickly upcoming. But the podiatrist has already requested one for my foot. According to the x-ray its not broken but i bet if i ask about the ligament, she’ll know. Amazingly she offered to see me after the first ortho surgeon refused to take our call.